|
Monday,
November 4, 2024,
Dear Gentlemen declaring
that you will protect women "whether they like it or
not" and "no matter what,"
I am a woman. I am the daughter and
granddaughter of a long line of women. I am the chosen
mama of a woman. I am a sister to four women. I am the
auntie, grand-auntie, or chosen-auntie of eleven, thus
far, but I'm always looking for more. I have been a
teacher at an all-girl high school. I count dozens
of women among my dearest friends, and I am a vocal
advocate for protecting women. I think you could safely
call me an expert on what makes women feel safe.
I'm sure you are baffled by the
apparent backlash that the idea of "protecting women"
has garnered. Why would women not want you to protect
us? I'm so glad you asked! Let me educate you:
1._
|
We
have been telling you from the beginning of time
that we want to be treated as equals. We're
still fighting for equal wages, equal
consideration, and to get through a day without
feeling like prey. In response, you tell us that
there is no glass ceiling, and we just need to
learn how to take a compliment. |
2.
|
You
seem to believe that protecting women means
riding in on a white horse, your armor shining
and your spurs jingling to rescue us as Dick
Dastardly ties us to railroad tracks. Yet when
Christine Blasey Ford tried to tell you that
Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her, you
minimized his behavior and did everything you
could to discredit her and humiliate her. Then
you appointed him to the highest court in the
land despite the number of women who came
forward to support her claim. |
3.
|
When
yet another story of a man in power extorting
women for sex led to the #metoo movement, and
far more than half of the women you know
acknowledged that they, too, have been
trespassed upon, usually as little girls, you
balked at the idea, told us we had a “victim
mentality,” and declared it a "scary time for
boys." |
4.
|
We
tell you that we do not find catcalls
flattering, and in fact, they often make us
uneasy, and you roll your eyes and call us
"snowflakes." |
5.
|
| When it was pointed out
that Baby, It's Cold Outside has creepy
lyrics, y our headsexploded and you
refused to even consider why we might
say that—for instance, the fact that in
the original sheet music, the male part
is labeled as "wolf" and the female as
"mouse," i.e., Predator and Prey. (see
attached) |
|
Wouldn't you like to know what kind of protection
we'd really appreciate? Of course you would! Why
wouldn’t you?
1._
|
Stop
believing that you know what's best for us.
You've never been a woman. You have no idea what
we experience.
Aside from stretch marks and extra weight, you
don't know what pregnancy does to our bodies. In
my 53 years, I was pregnant for only about 8
weeks, and I barely survived. Neither my body
nor my heart have ever been the same.
|
2.
|
Understand that when women wait to come forward
a long time after an assault, it's because they
know they’ll be subjected to even more
humiliation and abuse as exemplified in the
Kavanaugh bit.
|
3.
|
Call
out your buddies for misogynistic and/or
predatory behavior (cat calls, gross comments,
touching a woman without her consent, aggressive
behavior with a woman under the influence,
etc.). |
4.
|
Join
us in calling out the judges who under-sentence
convicted rapists, because "boys will be boys." |
5.
|
Be
good fathers so your daughters have an example
of a good man and will settle for no less, and
so your sons will know how to treat a woman with
respect and set examples for their friends. |
6.
|
Demand
that statutes of limitations for sexual assault
be removed in your state. The only people they
protect are the predators |
7.
|
Demand
that the age of consent be raised to 18 years of
age in your state, and that civil marriage
before that time be outlawed. |
8.
|
We
know that there are many wonderful men out
there. I'm married to one and count several
among my friends. These men possess a trait
called empathy, and empathy is considered a
weakness by self-proclaimed "alpha-males." It's
not to the men with empathy that I am addressing
this letter. They already know these things. |
9.
|
Pressure
your local authorities to process the rape kits
that have sat untested, allowing rapists to
continue raping. (In
2022, at least 25,000 untested rape kits sat in
law enforcement agencies and crime labs across
the country. This figure only accounts for data
reported by 30 states and Washington, DC; the
total backlog number is unknown.)* |
To protect women, you have to advocate for women.
To advocate for women, you have to listen to us and hear
us.
|
